ELEGANT PLUMBING!

Four days ago a horrendous amount of water started to seep mysteriously from the base of our kitchen and bathroom walls. 

Between deciding whether or not to pay R6000 for our insurance to fix a simple leak (once you add up excess and loss of no claim bonus) and seeing if we can wrangle a complete new bathroom, we haven’t had water for four days.

In desperation I asked a trusted handyman friend to help me fix it and keep our insurance options open and the taps flowing.

A one hour job turned into four – with appropriately spaced expletives and a temporary fix.

However, I thought (with the typical irrational pride of the intellectual who ventures into the practical world) that it wasn’t half bad and we could even go into a joint plumbing business venture (something to fall back on in case my career as a theologian/writer doesn’t pan out – why settle for a bit of irrationality when you can have full-blown mania). 

My friend, who refused to be in the photo and asked not to be named, seemed less than enthusiastic.  In fact, he left with the alacrity of a perpetrator leaving the scene of a crime.

I will never understand people.

Anyway, a position has opened up: please send me CVs via Facebook messenger (no chancers please).

In the meantime I’m working on business cards and think we should try capture the whole market.

For the low-brow market (plain black and white photocopied cards):“Elegant plumbing – Ele-gaaant!”

For the middle-brow market (printed business cards): Elegant plumbing – beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

For the high-brow market (embossed, silk paper cards) – Elegant plumbing: If you love Terry Gilliam or Tim Burton movies, you’ll love our plumbing.”

I’m excited!  Send those CVs!